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Random quote: If you want to honor me, honor yourself. ~~ Raj
- (Added by: Carson)

Anybody have the origin of this Raj statement?
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   General Discussion -> The Gathering Place (TGP)Message format
Posted 2019-11-09 2:37 PM (#232717 - in reply to #232716)
Subject: Three references to crucible in Southport, AU 1989 gathering


Raj excerpt from Southport, Australia gathering 1989

QUESTION:  Hello, I’m pleased you said we could ask personal questions because there’s something that I’m going through at the moment that is really disturbing me.  It’s regarding a relationship.  And I’m having so many hassles with it, and it’s been ongoing for a long time.

RAJ:  Indeed, relationships are the crucible of Awakening, the crucible of learning defenselessness, learning forgiveness, learning to be the willingness to recognize what is Real in the one with whom you are having a relationship.  Continue.

QUESTION:  I just feel that there is perhaps some very important lesson that I’m not seeing.  And I so desperately want peace in this issue, and enlightenment could come my way I’d be very grateful.

RAJ:  For the sake of everyone else, how is the disturbance manifesting itself?

QUESTION:  It’s with my ex-husband.  He just can’t simply let go.  It’s effecting the children as much as it’s effecting me.  And we’re just all very confused and disturbed about the whole process.

RAJ:  It is you who must become clear.  It is you who must become unequivocal.  It is you who must stand your ground for your sake not for his.  It is you who must learn to say no and not back down.  

Just as Paul had to make a commitment initially before the manifestation of that commitment could occur, you must make a commitment.  And that commitment must be to your integrity and to the fact that you are not here to cater to his slowness of releasing you.  You must become clear about what allows you to feel your peace and your comfort.  And then you must state it.  And if you have made a commitment to yourself and to your peace, then when you state it your conviction will ring in that statement, and it will be heard.  And you will not feel uneasy about taking your stand, if you will.  You are not here to cater to him.  

Now, you say, “but what about the children?”  The fact that there are children allows this situation to become messy and muddy and hard to be clear.  Well, that’s just the way the ego works.  When the truth presents itself relative to your claiming your own integrity and standing where you stand, the ego suggests that there is some other condition outside of you, outside of your making the commitment that can justify not making the commitment and finding out what the result of making that commitment is.  The result of making the commitment is, that your world reconfigures around you conforming to and reflecting that commitment.  

Now once you make that commitment to yourself, and you do not assume that you are being selfish by making that commitment, you will find the other pieces of the puzzle, so to speak, falling into place in an orderly manner.  It is you who must declare your independence.  The United States had to declare its independence from Mother England.  Mother England did not want to let go.  But the United States made its Declaration of Independence and stood upon it and the world reconfigured.  It is the same with everyone.  The point is, that the issue is with the commitment, the issue is not with the external factors.  

It is inappropriate for there to continue to be a messy relationship, rather than a finished relationship with this individual.  The point is, pay attention to your comfort zone and then demand the circumstances, the environmental circumstances that allow you to experience your comfort.  Until you value your comfort zone, your comfort level, you will not be in a position of stating limits to anyone else.  You will not be in a position of saying, “thus far, and no farther.”  And you will constantly put yourself in a position that is out of your comfort zone, and then the ego will come along and say, “see, everyone is ruining your life.”  

We are talking here about your integrity.  And if you will get in touch with your integrity, value it, own it, and act from it, you will find that it will be consistent with the integrity of everyone else involved.  And things will begin to come into focus expressing order.  Do not be afraid to express your own integrity, to be in touch with it, and act from it.  

This is actually what the circumstances you are in are pushing you to the realization of.  The ego says that it is pushing you to the point of having to retaliate, of having to defend yourself.  But mind you, when I have said to take your stand, I did not imply defense, I implied a clear sense of yourself that you are being completely congruent with.  That is not defense, that is integrity.  And when you say no from your integrity, and when you say yes from your integrity that does not constitute denial and affirmation, it constitutes congruence.  You understand?  Very well, that’s the end of the answer.

QUESTION:  Raj, I’ve got a couple of questions that you might like to help me with.

RAJ:  Certainly.

QUESTION:  First of all when I was reading your sheet, it said, ”the spiritual understanding you seek must relate to your world.”  It really meant something to me, because I feel that at the moment my world seems to be stuck with little energy and no movement.  Businesswise I’ve come to the end of a cycle and wish to move out into something different.  To do something with healing, physical and spiritual.  And I’ve opened myself up to receive direction, but this has not yet come.  So I’m looking for help there.

RAJ:  Ah, but the intimation or inclination to become involved with healing was not a product of your imagination.  You did not sit down and go through a list of “professions” and pick that one, it wasn’t reasoned out, and therefore the emerging of that desire is part of an already existing guidance.  It has already begun, and that is why you are finding yourself having the interest and the desire.  

And it is very simple:  Abide with that guidance.  Just feel it.  The ego suggests that you are supposed to take guidance and then use that as a basis for figuring out what to do next, how to implement it, how to bring it to pass.  And the necessity is not to move up into your head, but to stay in the place where the feeling is.  

Now, that feeling is the emerging of your own Soul at your conscious level of awareness.  It is your Being unfolding itself.  And that unfoldment of your Being is always the unfoldment of fulfillment.  Therefore, abide with the feeling.  It is your connection with your Being at an conscious level.  And if you will abide with the feeling, you will be present with it as it brings about its own manifestation.

The guidance has already begun.  It is not that you have this feeling and so you have asked for guidance and you are not getting it.  The unfoldment is already beginning.  Abide with the feeling.  Do not be impatient.  Assume that if there is not further clarity emerging yet, it is because it is not needed yet.  But let yourself be at peace with the desire that you did not create.

Your desire is a vehicle, if you will, over which you have no control from an ego or personal level.  And if you abide in the desire, you will be with it as it fulfills itself.  And do not think that because you do not have control that you are letting yourself in for just anything.  Because the desire is your direct perception of your fulfillment unfolding itself.  And so, as you yield to it, and abide with it, you are yielding to your very own fulfillment that is unfolding from a level other than your ego or your best judgment.  It is unfolding from your very Being, with a capital “B”.  It is unfolding from the presence of God in you, as you.

And so, trust into this feeling.  Do not feel that God has tossed you the ball and now you must run with it.  It will come.  Part of this involves a maturing in you that will occur as you yield to the feeling, by abiding with it, and not attempting to force it to blossom more rapidly than it is perfectly doing.  Let there be a trust in the orderliness of this.  And do recognize that the presence of the desire is itself the guidance.  The guidance has begun before you even asked for it.  And enjoy what unfolds.  That’s the end of the answer.

QUESTION:  I have another question.

RAJ:  You may ask it.

QUESTION:  And this also came from reading your brochure, where it is said, “that there is no question that is too silly.  If you have any energy behind it, go for it.”  Energy meant something to me, because a feeling for me is of lack of energy.  And now I have encountered opposition to my growth within my family.  And though I realize that spirituality is a one-to-one thing, I feel that my energy is being withdrawn from my family situation.  I can see no light in this situation, I was just feeling stifled.  How does one change the situation, or change one’s mind about the situation?

RAJ:  By not energizing it.  By not giving your energy to it.  They can disagree till they are blue in the face.  It cannot stop you from listening.  It cannot stop you from paying attention within.  

Understand something else:  Spiritual Awakening is a matter of increased capacity to be love.  It is a matter of the increased capacity to be intelligent.  It is a matter of the increased capacity to be appropriate at any moment under any circumstances, so that you are not feeding into and substantiating other people’s egos.  And you are not reacting to other people’s egos, but rather you are being so benignly, perfectly, appropriate that it constitutes a joining with what is intelligent in everyone around you, and constitutes a joining with their capacity to love.

Do not become defensive as you move along what you perceive to be your spiritual path.  If you become defensive and attempt to protect it as though being on your spiritual path made you vulnerable, then you will be in a state of attack on your world.  Even if you are defended by not attacking, you are in a state of defense.  Defense is an act of war.  It is a conflicted and conflicting dynamic.  And you will elicit that from those around you, because your defensiveness will cause them to feel that they need to be defensive. 

Now don’t cram your wonderful enlightenment down anybody else’s throat.  But let the movement in you, let the increased capacity to be defenseless and be loving, find expression in simple appropriateness in very real, down-to-earth, human terms of compassion, of communication.  No one needs to be able to talk wonderful spiritual words.  All that is needed is for you to be willing to love, to be defenseless against your family.

If you are expressing more love, if you are expressing more intelligence, no one in your family is going to object.  But if you feel that your spirituality is inseparably caught up in particular language, and particular subjects, or topics of conversation rather than in the simple, genuine relating to your fellow man, you will indeed, and everyone else will indeed elicit from others resentment, and resistance.

It isn’t the words and it isn’t the concepts.  It is the relaxed capacity that you have to be defenseless and genuine, without being nervous about what anyone else is going to think about it.

Waking up doesn’t involve Heavenly language, it involves Heavenly feeling.  And feeling doesn’t come in words.  Feeling comes.  And if you feel it, words will come to describe it.  But you won’t be talking about Heaven, you won’t be talking about spirituality.  You will be Being Love.  And you will be so specifically appropriate at any given moment, and so defenseless about it that everyone around you will be able to let out a sigh of relief because they will be able to dare to be who they are too, in their, shall I say, simple humanity, their simple humanhood.

All of you must understand that your divinity, your Christhood will be accessed right through the center of your humanity, right through the center of accepting yourself in the moment as whatever you appear to be to yourself at the moment.  In the valuing of your humanity, and your willingness to give up trying to be what other’s expect, or what your parents told you to be, or what your best concept of an intelligent person is or a spiritual person.  If you will give that up and just allow yourself into what is left, you will find that it will not be a little blob of, pardon my French, shit that stinks, that no one likes, that is offensive, that is worthless, that is useless.

The feeling is that if you don’t keep up the fasod, the front, that no one will like what is underneath.  But what is underneath is the essence of what God is Being right there where you are.  And it’s right in your capacity to be humane, to be genuine, to be unarrogant.  That is what love is.

Now, I have described love as:  The willingness to see that which is Real, with a capital “R”, divinely Real; the willingness to see that which is Real in each and everything.  Well, don’t waste your time going around trying to see what is Real in everyone else, and exclude yourself.  Because I will tell you something, until you dare to be humble enough and genuine enough to just be you, and have the experience of discovering welling up from within you your peace, and your joy, and your worth, and your value, and your integrity, you won’t have the faintest idea what someone else’s divinity is like.

So if you are going to extend to your brothers and sisters unconditional love, understand that you are going to have to embrace yourself in that also.  It is really you that you need to be comfortable with.  It is not a family not challenging you that you need to be comfortable.  You don’t need them for support or for confirmation.  They can babble all they want.  They can object all they want, but you are not required to take the bait.  You can let it dangle indefinitely.  You can swim by it back and forth.  You can see the bait that has been hung there for you, and you can let it hang forever.  

And once you realize that you will be able to relax.  You don’t need to get rid of the hooks or the bait, you just need to be intelligent enough not to bite into it.  Then be humble enough to relax into the clearer experience of you, and of your divinity, and what you conceive of God as Being in all of His divinity.  Understand that that is what must constitute your Being, because you did not create yourself.  And begin to define yourself according to the description, or awareness of God that you have.  Begin to see the God in you, even if it isn’t apparent acknowledge that that is what must be right where you are in order for you to even see something else.  And begin to embrace yourself divinely.

Your family is defenseless because, partly you want to be able to talk to them about these things.  They are also defensive because they are frightened to embrace their clarity also.  You cannot do anything about their fear of their embracing their clarity.  But you can do something about daring to be human and genuinely human with your family, being sensitive to their need to feel secure, and not overwhelming them with words or concepts that are frightening, that cause them to be uneasy.

You can be loving, you can be encouraging, you can be nourishing, you can be supportive of every member of your family, because of what you are finding emerging in you about your divinity, and therefore theirs, and you need never bring up any spiritual terms whatsoever.

Talking spirituality is not what waking up is about, is not what divinity is about.  It is truly about your willingness to be defenseless and humble, and just be the place where God shines through.  Be the place where what you divinely are may shine through.  And because what you divinely are is Love, you will find yourself able to express yourself in language that will be meaningful to them, but not frightening to them.

I am speaking in language that is easy for you to understand, and is not frightening to you.  And I am accommodating your capacity to embrace Reality.  I am not speaking in absolute terms of Reality, but I am leading you in the direction of the access point, if you will, which is within you, and involves your willingness to embrace your humanness, because that humanness is essentially divine.  Your conditioning and the ego have caused you to arrive at a point of denying your humanity in favor or your divinity.  Why?  Because the jewel, the essence of what you divinely are is right smack dab in the middle of what you are in your humanity.

It is with your brothers and sisters and your family that you need to be defenseless.  Because that is where God becomes expressed in what I will call, the human condition.  And that is what elevates the human condition, or in other words, illuminates the divinity of your humanity.


The ego distracts you from the very spot where your divinity is present to be experienced by telling you that it is somewhere else—in your “divinity,” in your unity with the Father.  Well, I ask you—and I am really asking all of you—where is your connection with the Father?  Is it out beyond Jupiter or Pluto?  Is it in New York City, or somewhere at a great distance from you?  Or is it in your simple capacity to be the genuine presence of defenseless love?  It’s right in the middle of your humanity, that’s where your divinity is.  

So dare to let go of the conditioning that separates your divinity from your humanity and calls your humanity a block to your divinity, your experience of your divinity.  And dare to be more human with your family and your fellow man.  Because that is where the transformation is going to manifest.  Because that is where the threshold of your Awakening is.  And that is why relationships are the crucible for your Awakening


You are in a perfect spot, everything is on your side.  You just weren’t looking at it in quite the right way to see that.  And of course, what I have said to her applies to every single one.  

The most direct route to your fellow man is right through the center of your Being, and the most direct route to your Awakening is right through the center of your Being and your experience of your union with your fellow man.  And we will go into that at a later point in this weekend.  That’s the end of the answer.

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