Posted 2019-11-09 2:12 PM (#232714 - in reply to #232713) Subject: Here is one reference from Boston 1991 gathering
Excerpt from Raj Gathering, Boston 1991
QUESTION: I guess as I’ve sat here over the weekend I’ve tried to ask a question, I think of a question to ask. And I guess what the last year of my life is certainly been what I think is turmoil, but evidently a change in the right direction. I believe that completely, although sometimes I get caught up in my ego.
I can’t help not think of the question of family right now and the importance of family in our lives. It seems, at least, from my own perspective, I see a lot of broken families. I guess the question I’m trying to come up with here is, what is the effect of that have on us? That and also, I’d like to throw out the question of what marriage is?
RAJ: What is the question?
QUESTION: I guess the question I am asking is in relation to is shedding light on what family is, period? And what marriage is, from your perspective?
RAJ: In all respects, relationships are the crucible of awakening; whether with spouses, or parents, or children. They are the refiner’s fire. Why? because in a relationship it is almost impossible to be isolated and alone. And it therefore, constantly provides the opportunity to join, not joining in mutual agreement as to the truth of a lie, but joining in a conscious awareness of each others fundamental Divinity and the desire to see that emerge more and more clearly.
If one is in a relationship from an ego standpoint, then I will tell you, that this is what is really experienced as the refiner’s fire. You see, you must remember that no two Individualities, in any relationship, are ever anything less than the Presence of the Christ. And so, always present there, in the relationship, is the fullness of your Being or their Being. And whether they are consciously aware of it or not, the fullness of their Being is constantly weakening or undermining their beloved ego structures. And in spite of themselves they manage to create—using the term advisedly—create opportunities for the falsity and the valuelessness of the ego to be uncovered.
If one is identifying as an ego, when the presence of the wholeness of what each partner in the relationship is, when the ego structures are undermined by this wholeness, it provides the opportunity for—what the Course calls—a holy relationship to emerge. But if one is holding on to his or her ego sense, it is seen as attack. The Christ says, “behold, I stand at the door and knock.” And you, inside the door, call the constable to come and get rid of the intruder.
I encourage all of you to be willing to look again when you think you are being attacked, when you think you are being insulted, on the shear chance that perhaps this other one, whom you know so well and whom you are positive is functioning as an ego; might just happen to be, even involuntarily, expressing the motive of the wholeness of himself or herself; that might actually be providing you with the alternative to respond from your Being, rather than continuing the game of a mutual agreement of egos.
If someone loosing their job, can be experiencing the threshold of enlightenment and expansion, and there is a different way to look at what is happening from the standpoint of the pressure of his Divinity; then it might just be that your confidence in the egoness of your partner, or your mother, or your father, or your children, is a misperception of a Movement of Divinity, that is undermining your cherished ego.
I have not said this before, you are the first one’s to hear this. I say this so you will know it is something to pay attention to, to contemplate and to allow it to grow in your thought. And if you will contemplate it, it will be transformational to you, because it is a penetration of fourth-dimensional fact, into the level of human experience at this moment. And you do not have to experience any level confusion about it.
Relationships are the opportunity to invite the realization of the fourth-dimensional actuality, the Christhood of the individual you are in a relationship with, whether that individual identifies himself or herself that way or not. This is very important, very valuable. “why, he’s ignorant of his divinity, how could he possibly be expressing anything of value to me, and vice versa. Listen to the hatred with which she says it. She’s just pissed off. This isn’t a Divine Movement.” Not true! None of you have ever stopped being the Christ. And each one of you is either seeing the Christ clearly or through a glass darkly. But what is happening there is the Christ. What is happening right where you are is the Christ.
How do you release a special relationship? By not continuing the mutual agreement to treat each other as a couple of ignoramuses, who couldn’t possibly have any value for each other in terms of your enlightenment, except in a rather perverse way. As though, the only way it could be turned to your advantage is by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Thank God for the Holy Spirit, because which it takes to wake you up, couldn’t possibly be coming from one or the other of the two of you.
I am exaggerating somewhat. The point is, that very seldom do you function in a relationship with an actual vital curiosity to see the evidence of the Christ in your partner. And that’s what’s called for. That’s the way you break the mutual agreement to be ignorant and that is the way in which the veil, the illusion of ignorance is lifted.
Family is very important. Relationships are essential, because they are the means of breaking the habit of an arrogant isolated private sense of self, that doesn’t represent the truth of you and deprives you of your peace and your joy and the conscious experience of your wholeness.
Families have been called the cement of society. Brotherhood is the cement of the unity of the infinite expression of God; we could say brotherhood/sisterhood, because I am not meaning to leave anyone out. I thank you for your question.